| | yesterday when i went to the liquor store next to my workplace, i picked up a pack of camel lights because they were out of marlboro lights. i started smoking cigarettes again a few years ago when i realized that in food service, the only way to get a break is to take a smoke break. i smoke about five cigarettes a day, down from about ten a day when i was unemployed. two months ago, i switched from smoking camel lights to marlboro lights when i found out that marlboro is a union-made cigarette while camels aren't. smoking camels again makes me pretty nostalgic, remembering many times back east hovering over a toilet from too much beer and too much fun, with a dry throat and a feeling like i just got punched in the lungs. los angeles is giving me a general feeling of anxiety; i freaked out last night when i realized that it's now december and it's still t-shirt weather. i think here ten years could go by and you'd have no idea where you spent the time. | comments: Leave a comment   |
| | Time: | 02:40 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/os/triangles/lonely.gif) lonely |
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| los angeles is a lonely place for me right now. its pretty hot outside and i dont have anywhere to go besides the library. ive been reading at least five hours a day for about the past month, and honestly, its really boring. my roommates are leaving to go back east, which is sad, but maybe it will mean i will actually have to go out and meet people. katharine works days and i work nights and so i never get to see her.
los angeles is a strange place. it's definitely a 'concrete jungle,' the dirtiest city ive seen besides maybe tijuana. the seediness makes everything have a home-y feel to it, except when some punk schoolkids throw a rock through your bedroom window at 7 am. i've been walking a lot, to chinatown, glendale, hollywood, downtown, whatever's walkable. l.a. is maybe the most diverse city on earth (there's an armenian channel on network tv) and that's probably the best thing about it. the worst is that it really is true that hollywood is a shithole, and there are a lot of superficial assholes in this big area (westside) that i never go to. anyways, money is tight, love is good, and beer is cheap. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| a few weeks ago i made a chunk of change working a week at a renaissance festival in las vegas with a bunch of thai dudes that didnt know much english. we camped and stayed two nights at a motel 6 on the strip, where i lost five dollars on the penny slots.
when i got back, scott visited. we went all over the city and camped on the beach. it was awesome.
i got a new baby cat named vidalia 'waffles' von gretzky that with hopefully liven up cat. she has a little lump on her side which i think is a cyst from cat biting her, but we're trying to arrange an appointment with the free vet to get it all checked out.
now i have a job as a barista at this dingy coffeeshop in east hollywood. everyone sits alone on their laptops and writes screenplays. its nice because its within biking distance. i also passed the CBEST so i can become a substitute teacher.
im glad shit is coming together. i have been dead broke for the past two months and i really thought id never get a job that didnt totally suck. when i get my shit figured out im going to try to figure out some radical organizations to join, find a drummer for paul revere, and start a new reading group. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| so yeah as i mentioned i got a part-time job after applying to about 50 places over three weeks, canvassing from echo park to hollywood and craigslist too. i get paid 8 dollars an hour to run food at a swanky suburban vegetarian restaurant. i have to commute 25 minutes by car, wear all black, ive already had to cut my hair but i have to cut it again, i have to wear deodorant (first time in several years), and i dont quite have the money yet to buy more work clothes, so i have to wash my clothes before every shift. i get yelled at every 15 minutes for not serving on the left and removing plates on the right, not taking the salad plates away quickly enough, etc. a glass of tap water there costs more than my dinner last night. but rent's coming up and katharine's still unemployed so i'll stick with it for now.
the economy sucks and i consider myself privileged to have gone to some nice colleges, to have a car, and to have had a nice enough job before that i could save up to move to california. it's really too bad some rich wall street gambling assholes used their political clout to call for deregulation of finance, and now it's impossible for me, a relatively well-off person, to find a job that affords me some god-damn dignity. i'd like to kick george bush's ass right now. | | comments: 8 comments or Leave a comment |
| okay katharine broke into my livejournal
i start my second part-time job today as a food runner. i really hope the economy gets better before my college education keeps seeming to be a big waste of money for much longer | | comments: Leave a comment |
| edit: ok katharine broke into my livejournal.
i beat up on girls. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| getting older is sad, not because i feel any older, but because shit changes faster than i want it too, even when im not changing at all. i guess i have changed. i party less, read what i want, care less about modern music, care more about making my own music, care more about friends and family. also, here's a big change: i live in los angeles. i think ive mentioned before in this thing that katharine wants to go back to school, and the state schools in california are good, so that's why we're here. we picked los angeles specifically because it's really chill for a big city.
most things havent changed. i still wear a lot of cotton, i still hate the government, i still crack my knuckles, im still vegetarian, and i still love baseball. the dodgers are fucking awesome (greg maddox is #3 in their pitching rotation right now, manny ramirez is going to win the mvp, and the dodgers will clinch the pennant), but im not too into the angels. fuck disneyland, fuck anaheim.
things i enjoy:
-waking up and drinking coffee and smoking a cigarette and then taking a shit
-katharine except when she yells about the way i cook
-cat when she is going crazy or when she is being a lazy bum
-my cozy apartment. its cheap and it has a nice kitchen
-having a job and the internet finally
also, i made an album.in a band called paul revere.
you can hear it here:
http://www.last.fm/music/the+subprime+mortgage+crisis+presents+paul+revere
and this is the cover art:
 | | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | the smiths - vicar in a tutu | | Subject: | polygamist sex sects | | Time: | 08:04 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/os/triangles/happy.gif) happy |
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| katharine is in the other room making eggplant parmesan. i have been reading all day besides the part of the day where i went to work and got trained in regards to the proper etiquette for a coffee cupping, which is a lot like a wine tasting except you get jacked up instead of slowed down.
i just got back from checking things out in california with friends. on the trip i saw a bomb dropped from a plane and camped some and experienced the storm that flooded out iowa and nebraska. if everything goes well, ill be d.c. peacing out in august.
i feel pretty apathetic about the world, probably from watching too much tv and living in the midst of the young american circle jerk surrounding barack obama's cult of personality. i need a change of scenery more than ever in my life, but for now i have to save up some money for the move, so ill probably spend the next month and a half working six days a week. it's good to be out of college, but now i have to go out into the world and fuck it up somehow. i turn 22 on thursday. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i dont know if i said any of this before, but im moving to davis, california, 'the most bicycle friendly town in the world.' not that im obsessed with bikes or anything; in fact im getting sort of a beer gut and i cant ride without getting a really sore taint because i dont have the callus from riding my rock-hard seat raw quite enough recently.
i am done with college as of a few days ago. hopefully ill keep wanting to learn now that im out. i plan on going to graduate school at some point to study radical political economy, which is a lot more interesting than it sounds. college was pretty sweet, but cramming for finals really sucked ass, and if somehow someone came up to me and said "hey you have to do it all over again" i would say "fuck that sucks" and consider not digging myself into a deeper shittier debt.
both katharine and i fucked up our computers from doing too many drugs near expensive electronics, so now we have a bright green computer with mac os 8.6 and netscape navigator on it and its pretty cool if you dont like youtube or anything that uses flash. my boss-friend gave it to me. he's really cool. he is really into coffee and making tonics and he says he remembers when nirvana came out with 'bleach' because he lived in the pacific northwest before nirvana was cool.
so after making that shoutout i feel like i should just say that ive made some solid friends in dc. some, but not many, but a good friend is hard to find. i am driving across the US this summer for the third time in four years with katharine and meagan and joel. the first is my sexy girlfriend and the last two are a couple and joel is the little brother of annie, who i went across the country with last summer.
speaking of friends, i am more excited about meeting my new friend aidan than i am about anything. im heading down to crowntown on may 19th because i have a court date for an accident i was in over 5 years ago and my insurance company is getting sued, so i have to testify.
anyways, i dont have much else to say except that the war in iraq is so fucking stupid. lets all take 5 minutes to think about how fucking dumb this war is. the US military has killed hundreds of thousands of innocent iraqi civilians for an unjustified war that has lasted longer than any US war besides vietnam. hopefully one day some sweet people will overthrow our shitty imperialist government and instead give peace a chance. until that day, keep cool my babies. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | beat happening - hey day | | Time: | 10:57 am | | Current Mood: | happy |
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| scott, my mom, and my older sister are coming to dc for my graduation, which is great because im really happy and proud of myself to be getting done with college, which sucked and was awesome in a million different ways. once i graduate im going to go full time at the restaurant i work at until my lease is up.
it'll be nice to get out of this neighborhood. its a nice place because its the most densely populated neighborhood in dc and there really is a lot of stuff to see and do (not just spend money on), but sometimes im surprised so many assholes can live right on top of one another. 18th street, the crowded street with all the bars, is unbearable to walk down after midnight. turning 21 never did make me think bars were a cool way to spend time. i feel too young for all of the oxford shirt schmoozing at most bars or the condescending shitheads at the hipster bars.
in august im moving to davis, california. whenever i tell people they act as if it is the last place on earth they would expect me to move or the last place in the world they would ever move to. davis is just west of sacramento and about two hours away from oakland. ive never been but it seems like a good hippie city where i can probably find a job, live cheaply, feel a little more comfortable than dc, and pay off some loans. i dont dislike dc, but its not affordable at all, and thats the main reason im leaving right away.
anyways im going to get off this thing and enjoy the sun. you should too. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | im graduating in 50something days. im very stressed and overwhelmed by almost everything that seems to stress everyone out all the time, which makes me feel like a tool. today im going to walk from roosevelt island to maryland up the potomac, and next weekend is the cherry blossom festival, so hopefully nature will distract me from some of my lesser responsibilities. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | beat happening - fortune cookie prize | | Time: | 08:56 pm | | Current Mood: | happy |
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| | the first valentine's day i spent with katharine was 4 years ago today and all i got her was a moneyholder card with no money that was unsigned and just said 'fuck you bitch.' i was put in the doghouse so to speak and it sucked. now my life has changed in oh so many ways, and yet still every day when i wake up i am so happy to wake up next to her, and every night when we both finally get home from our day apart, i am so happy to go to sleep next to her. tonight we're not doing a damn thing to celebrate our luv outside of the ordinary; she has work until 11 or so and then maybe we'll go to a bar and play billiards. it's okay though; i dont really need frills or thrills together to say that i'm incredibly happy and i know that she is too. we're moving to california together in august. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| dear flamingopoop,
i cried today for the first time in months. yes thank you for your attention. i was making lentil soup and when i was chopping the onion it really irritated my eyes and so i teared up. haha ;) *wink*
but on a related note, i love to cook. who the fuck doesnt? good cooking, though, is a matter of having an audience of mouths vindicating expensive fresh ingredients. a few months ago i made a weblog ("blog") post complaining that rachael (sic) ray was on every side of a wheat thins box in my room and i didnt even know who rachael (sic) ray was. i do now; she gets paid to use good ingredients while i have to pay to use them, which i think is a savage injustice. in conclusion, when i dont feel like eating a bowl of cereal or boiling some eggs and i have the money to buy things like parsley and lemons, i will make a delicious meal and have a fun time doing it.
love,
ryan | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | hello. im back home in dc as of a few minutes ago. it is a comfortable city to me but i really have no reason to stay and many reasons to go so i told katharine that if my interview with teach for amerika goes well and i get the job that we'll get a dog and a drumset and move to oakland and hopefully stay there for a while. that's exciting to me because my friends jemma and robin from asheville live there now. my last semester starts on monday. graduation is on may 11. be there or suck it. | | comments: 8 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | jimi hendrix - if 6 was 9 | | Time: | 12:58 am | | Current Mood: | happy |
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| life is fuckin good. i had been working or schooling every day for at least a month and a half and now i am on vacation for the next three weeks at my mom's place. jackie and merlot just had a kid: aidan james guest, and so did my sister: katherine genivive buesing, and i think thats fucking great. finals went really well. i am really interested in 'historical materialism' and i think i want people to pay me money to write about history. i have been playing progress quest again and i have a level 40 enchanted motorcycle. speaking of motorcycles, the easy rider soundtrack is really good. now that i am on break, i can read don quixote some more.
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| | if there had been no railway to conquer distances, my child would never have left his native town and i should need no telephone to hear his voice; if traveling across the ocean by ship had not been introduced, my friend would not have embarked on his sea-voyage and i should not need a cable to relieve my anxiety about him. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| my brother once referred to the people in apartment 506 as the unhappily married couple. it's true, they always look so miserable together. he loves his dog and sometimes she talks really loudly on the phone in the room adjacent to my bedroom. i just heard her say 'oh my god! i was eating turkey! it was so awesome. it was like i was so hungry.'
i'm hosting thanxgiving at my apartment. if you dont have family obligations then you're welcome to come to my place for a minute, bring a date/friend, smoke weed, enjoy potluck food, chill, watch football, be thankful, whatever. i'm going to spend the next few days preparing food, rolling joints, and calibrating the oven temperature. i know i have a few friends coming into town as well as several friends from dc that are coming. meat eaters are welcome to bring meat dishes; just dont feed them to my cat. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | the electric prunes - kyrie eleison | | Time: | 06:51 pm | | Current Mood: | happy |
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| i work at a place that sells croissants. sometimes people come in and order "cwah-sounts" although they are almost never french. i wonder if they also pronounce paris "perree" or roll their R when they pronounce margarita
anywho on more happy notes i get to take a class next semester on napoleon which as you all know from reading my poem is really great for me. katharine turns 21 on saturday and so she's having some friends come into town for a big bash. the application for teach for america is due on november 2, and i really have no idea where i would do it, but i think i really want to do it despite all of the horror stories ive heard. i mean ive seen dangerous minds and doing this will pay off 16000 in federal loans and there arent many things i wouldnt do for 16000 dollars including give hope and put the smile on a child's face which is the only real reward that is worth a lot more in 100 years than my bank account, making a difference in the life of a child i mean.
2 teach is
+2 touch lives
=4ever | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | who the fuck likes the new england patriots? liking them is like liking the new york yankees or manchester united or the boston red sox ever since they won a world series. except its really not because the new england patriots cheat. im an unfair-weather-only fan. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
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